To Have Children or Not — Book Notes

To Have Children or Not¶

Ironically, in modern society people are routinely expected to justify why they choose not to have children — yet nobody asks why one would need to have them in the first place.

In surveys, the top reason given for having children is the joy that children bring. The second most common reason: no particular reason — it just happened.

What childfree people say to their critics: "Some people say you're so selfish for not having kids. But think about it — is the reason to have children so they'll take care of you in old age? Now that's selfish."

Looking at the book as a whole, even today there is considerable pressure involved in writing a book that supports the choice not to have children. For instance, the book cites a survey in which about 9% of American parents reported regretting having had children — but this doesn't account for the immense courage it takes for a parent to admit that kind of regret. The book maps out the spectrum: wanting children, considering it, not wanting them, alongside real-life outcomes. Many people have children not as a deliberate choice but simply because of an accident or biological drive. The book also covers the different kinds of preparation involved in having children, offered as a reference for those who do want them. #lifestyle